


Stand By Me (I Won't Be Afraid)

by BrokenMemory



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Is that different from child abuse?, Jongin's dogs, Light child abuse?, No romantic pairings but they all platonically love each other a lot, OT12 - Freeform, cross posted on AFF, suharem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenMemory/pseuds/BrokenMemory
Summary: (Junmyeon tries to keep his father and his bruises a secret, but now he's got eleven boys breathing down his neck and ensuring no alone time, and Junmyeon thinks it's maybe not so bad.)





	1. Chapter 1

  _Sometimes Junmyeon wonders if Jongdae knows, and is just merciful enough not to say anything. Because there are those times at four in the morning when Junmyeon changes clothes and drags his way over to Jongdae’s and asks to use his med kit, and something about the way Jongdae’s eyes tighten when he smiles then makes Junmyeon think that maybe, just maybe, he has figured it out. But then Junmyeon shakes his head and says okay no way, because he always takes care to hide his wounds before going to Jongdae’s, and he has never let Jongdae help bandage them, doing it on his own in the guest bathroom down the hall, and Junmyeon knows there's no way Jongdae's heard something, because one of the ways Junmyeon’s father is so terrifying is because he doesn't yell, doesn't throw things, doesn't really lash out at all. He just looks at Junmyeon until he knows he's messed up somewhere, and then sighs and gets up and then Junmyeon’s the one biting his lip clean through so he isn't loud and screaming and crying and letting the whole neighborhood know that the two men living alone in this house are not who they think they are._

\-----  
Junmyeon struggles to keep his eyes open and listen to the teacher droning in the front of the class. Honestly, Junmyeon thinks, it's a good thing that he's good a chemistry naturally or he'd really have a problem, because Mr. Lee is boring, and Junmyeon cannot risk getting anything less than an A in any of his classes.

He sighs and tries to force his attention back in the board up front, but his train of thought had long since run off track and he finds himself giving in and looking around the room instead. His seat mate, Chanyeol, had fallen asleep before the teacher had even really started talking, which usually would've been celebrated like the return of Jesus, but in this situation the kids non-stop talking would've at least helped keep Junmyeon awake.

Junmyeon rests his cheek on his palm and tries not to snort as Chanyeol twitches. He's honestly impressed that Chanyeol's gone nearly an entire class period without snoring and alerting the entire classroom of his lack of interest in significant figures and measurements. Chanyeol is always loud, Junmyeon can usually hear him all the way across the cafeteria at lunch, and they sit in opposite corners. Chanyeol sits with his friends Luhan, Yifan, Baekhyun, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Jongin, and Sehun. Meanwhile, Junmyeon sits with his friend Yixing, and Yixing's friends Minseok and Tao.

It’s because Chanyeol is so noisy that Junmyeon doesn’t feel bad about eavesdropping. He dislikes intruding on Minseok, Tao, and Yixing’s conversation ("you really shouldn't avoid talking to your friends" "they're more  _your_  friends than mine, Yixing") and it isn't his fault that Chanyeol yells and Baekhyun's voice carries and Junmyeon always finds himself stuck with the knowledge that  _Jongin left baby Sehun at that party last weekend_  and  _Luhan's parents will be out of town next week, bring beer._

Maybe, if Junmyeon’s listening skills hadn't been the only thing that kept him alive during his freshman year, he would have been a bit more hesitant to tune into other conversations. But now it's already become a habit and he consoles that guilty part of him with the knowledge that if there was something  _really_  secret, it would not be conversed about in a lunchroom where anyone could overhear. For example, Junmyeon tried very hard to keep the bullies he had freshman year a secret. He didn’t talk about them anywhere, much less the cafeteria. Why? Because Junmyeon wanted it to stay a secret.

Of course, Yixing found out anyway.

The bell sounds the end of the day and breaks Junmyeon out of thought. Students are filing out of the classroom to go home. He taps Chanyeol’s ankle with his foot while he packs his books, but the younger boy just groans and buries his face in his arms. Normally Junmyeon would put more effort into waking him up, but he has to work in fifteen minutes and instead decides to grab Chanyeol’s phone, sending a text to Baekhyun informing him that this is Chanyeol’s seat mate and Chanyeol refuses to wake up. He puts the phone back and grabs his things, shaking Chanyeol one last time, before leaving the sleeping boy at his desk.

When he passes Baekhyun and Jongdae in the hall, the two obviously on their way to wake the giant, he offers them a polite smile and receives nods in return before he rushes down the hallway and to the parking lot.

\---

Junmyeon works three jobs, one immediately after school from three-thirty to six at a coffee shop downtown, then from seven to eleven at a convenience store near his house, and then he waits tables at a restaurant a half-hour away for five hours in the weekend. He's currently at job number one, which he usually rather enjoys because even when it's busy it's quiet and there is no loud noise to make his constant headaches worse.

Today, however, Yixing has decided to come with him, which of course resulted in him, Minseok, and Tao sitting at the counter where Junmyeon was at the cash register. Minseok (wonderful, perfect Minseok) had brought a book with him and was thankfully falling in with the general vibe of the shop, which in turn robbed Tao of his number one conversation partner, resulting in the sophomore pulling out his homework and working on it as he sipped at the juice Junmyeon gave him.

Yixing, on the other hand, was doing his best to drive Junmyeon up the wall.

"I really think you should quit, Jun. I mean, three jobs and high school are a lot to balance, and with your schedule you hardly have time to eat, and you're pale because you never have time to be outside and I know you're just going to get sick."

Junmyeon shoots him a bitter grin while grabbing Tao's pencil and fixing a mistake on his paper. "Well, I  _do_  know of a solution."

"Really?" Yixing grinned.

"Oh yeah." Junmyeon said, still checking over Tao's paper. "I can just quit all of my jobs and go down to the red light district every other day. Then I still get the money I need to survive  _and_ I get to be outside. How's that sound, Xingxing?"

"You don’t have to be so gruesome.” Yixing says wryly. “I’m just thinking of your health.”

Junmyeon snorts and breaks away from them for a moment to take an order. When he comes back Minseok still has a slight curve to his lips and Yixing is still frowning. Tao hands his paper back to Junmyeon for a final check. Junmyeon smiles as he reads it over and pats Tao on the head when he’s done.

"Xing," Junmyeon says lowly, refilling Tao's juice and watching the younger boy lean in to slurp at it. "Do you remember those older guys that were always around my sophomore year?"

Yixing’s pout vanishes and he fixes Junmyeon with a confused frown, speaking with a soft voice. "The ones that tried to kill you?” Tao's head tilts their way, juice forgotten, and Junmyeon remembers that Tao wasn't around until this year, and was somewhat oblivious to the hard times Junmyeon went through freshman and sophomore year.

"I was thinking about it during Chemistry today." Junmyeon continues, knowing full well that both he and Yixing (and Minseok, because the senior was no doubt following the conversation silently) knew that those were indeed the boys he'd been referring to. "And I was wondering what you did to make them stop. Because they didn’t even look at me anymore after you found out, and I…" Junmyeon trails off, and Tao's eyebrows hit his hairline as he joins Junmyeon in staring at Yixing. Minseok glances up from his book before turning the page and settling back down in his seat, finishing off his coffee. “I was just wondering.”

"Well…" Yixing’s eyes shift, body tilting a little bit. “I told.”

Junmyeon’s eyes go round in surprise, and he fumbles with the replacement coffee he was about to place in front of Minseok. The liquid burns his hand, but he ignores it in favor of leaning closer to Yixing, who is suspiciously avoiding his eyes. "Yixing, that was a _secret_!”

"It actually wasn’t so deliberate.” Yixing says as Tao squawks and vaults over the counter to push Junmyeon’s hand under the faucet. Minseok grabs napkins from the dispenser and cleans the mess while Tao turns the water on cold. “I was worrying about it in the hallway because I’d been distracted during class and the teacher kicked me out. Some kid came along and asked me what was wrong and I ended up telling him." He shot Junmyeon a withering look. “And it was a stupid secret, anyway. They nearly killed you. You know, you wouldn’t be as cute dead, Junma."

Junmyeon forces himself to relax, a little uncomfortable that some stranger took his problems into their own hands. "Being cute is not something I have to worry about, anyway. And if you keep talking like that, Tao will get the wrong impression." He turned to the aforementioned sophomore. "They did  _not_ almost kill me."

"No, they bullied him until he almost killed  _himself_."

Junmyeon glares at Yixing as Tao stared at him in unmasked horror. "That did _not_ happen.” He reassured their youngest.

“It did too.” Junmyeon hears Yixing say under his breath.

Dear God, Junmyeon shouldn’t have brought it up.


	2. Chapter 2

***Trigger warning for mild violence in middle section***

 

 

The rest of his shift had gone considerably well. Junmyeon suspected Tao would be extra clingy for the next little while, but he didn't burst into tears, so he supposed it  _could've_  been worse.

Junmyeon went back to staring at the table in front of him, seeing as there was no one else in the store. He had relocated to job number two, which meant he was, once again, behind a counter at a cash register. But he had the night shift, as usual, so there was no one else in the store,  _as usual_. The only people Junmyeon ever really saw at this time were people who had run out of cigarettes and needed to restock and Jongdae, who made a point to stop by every time he passed on his way home from a friend’s house (usually Luhan's).

And so, forty-five minutes later, at exactly ten-twenty-two, Junmyeon was not surprised when Jongdae walked through the door and made himself comfortable on the counter, knees next to Junmyeon’s hips as Jongdae leaned down to press a kiss on Junmyeon’s cheek.

Their relationship was completely platonic, of course, but Jongdae and Junmyeon had known each other since they were old enough to play outside. Jongdae's mother had taken the initiative to invite Junmyeon over into their yard since by that time Junmyeon's mother had been long dead and he couldn't count on his father for anything.

Sometimes Junmyeon wonders if Jongdae knows, and is just merciful enough not to say anything. Because there are those rare times at four in the morning when Junmyeon drags his way over to Jongdae’s and asks to use his med kit because his is empty, ( _I was trying to make hot chocolate and burned my hand_ , he’d said once. _I got up to use the bathroom and slid on the stairs_ , he’d said on a different occasion) and something about the way Jongdae’s eyes tighten when he smiles then makes Junmyeon think that maybe, just maybe, he has figured it out. But then Junmyeon shakes his head and says  _okay no way_ , because he always takes care to hide his wounds before going to Jongdae’s, and he has never let Jongdae help bandage them, doing it on his own in the guest bathroom down the hall, and Junmyeon knows there's no way Jongdae's heard something, because one of the ways Junmyeon’s father is so terrifying is because he doesn't yell, doesn't throw things, doesn't really lash out at all. He just looks at Junmyeon until he knows he's messed up  _somewhere_ , and then sighs and gets up and then Junmyeon’s the one biting his lip clean through so he isn't loud and screaming and crying and letting the whole neighborhood know that the two men living alone in this house are not who they think they are.

But then he looks back at Jongdae and sees how gentle Jongdae is with him when he's so rough with Jongin, and Junmyeon doubts himself, because surely he must've given it away somewhere.

Today Jongdae has changed things up a little because he has brought someone with him, and he's never done that before. But Yifan just walks in quietly behind him, and leans against the counter as Jongdae presses that kiss to his cheek, and utters a soft hello.

"Have you eaten, Jun?" Jongdae asks, carding his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair. Junmyeon smiles and leans slightly into the touch, not quite as much as he wants to because Yifan is there and he has to keep himself together, and shakes his head, because Jongdae would've known if he was lying, anyway.

Jongdae hums low and elbows Yifan, nodding to a freezer in the corner that has packaged sandwiches and the like. Junmyeon expects Yifan to tell Jongdae to get it himself, because that's the way he usually is with his friends, but he doesn't protest and moves to grab one, and Junmyeon suspects Jongdae had a talk with Yifan before they came in. He doesn't say anything, though, just smiles and takes the money Jongdae hands him for the sandwich, and doesn’t argue that Jongdae is paying for his food because he knows Jongdae would just come up with some instance in the past in which Junmyeon paid for something for Jongdae that probably didn't happen, anyway.

So he accepts the money and the sandwich and adds them both to the list of things that he'll have to pay back when he figures out how. Everything he makes at his after school jobs have to be turned into his father and everything he makes on the weekends has to go towards food and clothes, but his debt to Jongdae (and Yixing, to a lesser extent), is only growing, and there is no way Junmyeon will live out his life owing money to the people who try to care for him.

He takes a bite of the sandwich and looks at Yifan. He doesn’t know Jongdae’s friends very well, but he knows _of_ them, at least enough so that he can manage basic conversation with them. He swallows. "So what's up?"

Yifan opens his mouth to answer, but Jongdae talks over him. "Yifan's dad is having some big stupid business party and he's staying with me to avoid the high and mighty."

Junmyeon raises a brow at Yifan. "Business parties?"

Yifan's nose wrinkles. “They all just sit around and talk about the economy and politics. I tried to start a conversation about basketball once. My dad sent me to my room."

Junmyeon covered his mouth as he smiled. "The real question is: did you successfully start the conversation before your dad intervened?"

"Oh yeah." Yifan smiled. "We were talking for a good twenty minutes before he came to see what his son could've possibly been talking about to hook the CEO of a mega corporation and sent me away."

Junmyeon laughs. He was genuinely enjoying their company, and he was glad when they stayed with him the last half hour until closing. They walked home together, this time with Junmyeon and Yifan listening attentively to a story of Jongdae’s involving Luhan and orange skinny jeans, and when they reached his house, with only a few feet left until they reach Jongdae’s, he realized that he actually enjoyed being with them.

That was the same moment Junmyeon realized he was in trouble. 

\---

That night, when Junmyeon walks through the door, his father is there waiting. Junmyeon freezes, glances out the corner of his eye to check how far away Yifan and Jongdae are, sighing internally when he sees them enter Jongdae’s house.

Junmyeon goes through his checklist. He made dinner and put it in the fridge for his father before he left for class this morning. He has paid the amount his father has demanded of him for the week. His progress reports for school came in the mail last week but Junmyeon knows he has all A’s. He’s back before curfew. Why is he in trouble?

“Appa?” Junmyeon dares to say, trying to keep the wobble out of his voice because his father doesn’t seem angry yet, just resigned, and Junmyeon does not want him angry. He keeps his head bowed, eyes on his shoes, and tries to keep his breathing steady. “Did I…” _Don’t ask, he’ll be angry you don’t know._ “What did I do wrong?” _You idiot._

His father sighs, shifts his weight and starts to undo his belt. Junmyeon tries not to cry. “On your knees, Junmyeon, back to me, hands on the wall. Shirt off.”

Junmyeon’s lip starts to bleed from the way he’s tearing at it with his teeth. He drops his shirt to the floor far away and hopes no blood gets on it. He really doesn’t have the money to keep replacing them.

As soon as Junmyeon’s hands settle on the wall at shoulder height, he feels the belt against his skin. Immediately he collapses forward, screaming into his arm. His father isn’t using the leather like he usually does, both ends wrapped in his hand to create a loop. He’s using the notched end as a handle, the buckle digging into Junmyeon’s back with every hit. He feels blood dripping down his back, he thinks his bones are about to crack, and Junmyeon only makes it five more minutes like that before his vision starts to blur, black creeping in at the edges.

Junmyeon doesn’t know what he did, but he must have really messed up this time.

\---

The next day at school, Junmyeon is loaded up on painkillers and working his best fake smile, and everything’s going fine. He grunts when Yixing throws an arm over her shoulder, but he just tells his friend that he did too much heavy lifting at work last night and his back is a little sore, and Yixing accepts the excuse easily. It’s not the first time Junmyeon has overworked himself, after all, and it sure won’t be the last.

Baekhyun is friendly as usual in Trig, chatting with Junmyeon until class starts and then periodically leaning over to ask Junmyeon questions when he doesn’t understand. Junmyeon doesn’t mind to help, it makes him feel useful, so he quietly leans over to Baekhyun’s workbook, and only bites his lip a little when Baekhyun puts his hand on Junmyeon’s back to steady him. And Baekhyun smiles at him so happily when he finally understands that Junmyeon figures it was worth it, anyway.

By lunch time Junmyeon is so numb that it’s easy for him to pretend that he’s not hurt. His smiles don’t feel as forced and when Yixing makes a stupid joke he feels like he can laugh genuinely. Jongdae waves at him from across the lunchroom and Yifan nods his way, and Junmyeon, despite having been beaten within an inch of his life not a day before, finds himself honestly feeling okay.

Which is why he is surprised when he looks over during lunch to find Zitao chewing on his lip in much the same way Junmyeon does when he’s nervous. Tao is usually pretty happy, it’s not often Junmyeon sees him anything but. Even then, though, if he’s not happy he’s usually dramatically sad or scared. Junmyeon has never seen him nervous.

“Everything okay, Taozi?” He says gently when Minseok and Yixing are involved in a conversation about their shared gym class.

Tao looks up at him quickly, obviously startled out of his own thoughts. He opens his mouth, about to say something, but then clamps it shut in favor of nodding his head instead.

And boy, has Junmyeon ever done that before. He remembers all the times he’s flinched away from a high-five, how many times his knees nearly buckled when Yixing hugs him goodbye, and every time he’s opened his mouth to tell someone to get him out of that house.

But just like Tao, Junmyeon clamped his mouth shut right before he could say anything that would cause trouble.

Junmyeon stands up suddenly, attracting the attention of Minseok and Yixing. “Hey, Taozi, I have to go to my locker before my next class. I have those notes you wanted to look over, if you still want them.”

Tao looks at him carefully. There actually _are_ notes that he needs, for the government class he’s in that Junmyeon took last year. But Junmyeon knows Tao is smart, and he knows that Tao knows that if he goes with Junmyeon now, he’ll have to explain what’s going on.

_But,_ he thinks, _if anybody knows how to help, it’s Junmyeon._

So he nods, and follows Junmyeon out into the hallway. 


	3. Chapter 3

“So, do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Junmyeon asks as he sits down next to Tao in the courtyard.

Tao bites at his lip again, looking at Junmyeon and then looking away. “I…am not even supposed to know myself. I don’t think I’m supposed to tell.”

And Junmyeon examines him, watches his Taozi fidget, bite his lips and tear at his nails, and he figures this must be pretty serious.

So he sucks it up and says goodbye to his pride.

“You know, I didn’t want Yixing to know, either. When those guys were pushing me around my sophomore year. They would push me down and hit me, and they’d yank me into janitor’s closets between classes and tell me I could do something I really didn’t want to do or I could take a beating, and they’d let me choose. And you know, it was so hard to convince myself it wasn’t my fault when I told them I’d rather they beat me up. But the stuff they wanted me to do instead… there’s no way I could’ve lived with myself, if I’d let them touch me like that. So I said no, just hit me, and they listened. But like that it felt like I was asking them to, you know? So I couldn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t a victim.” He looks over at Tao, who is staring at him with wide, scared eyes, and he tried not to choke on tears when he speaks. “Does that sound familiar?”

Tao doesn’t nod, but he doesn’t shake his head either, and Junmyeon figures that’s answer enough. He goes on. “But Yixing found out. It was the beginning of sophomore year, and I’d been dealing with this on my own for a whole year, but Yixing was my new seatmate in math and he noticed the bruises. I didn’t expect him to say anything, but he grabbed my hand really gently and he looked at the bruise up close, and then he dragged me to the nurse and sat with me until I broke down and told him what was going on. And it was scary, having him know, but it felt so much better feeling like he was looking out for me. And then one day, I was sinking lower and lower, and then it stopped. I didn’t see those guys anymore, and other students stopped avoiding me in the hallway like I was carrying some kind of disease. And I made friends and it became a little easier to be happy.

“But, if Yixing hadn’t done whatever it he did, told that kid that he apparently didn’t even _know_ , I really would’ve killed myself.”

Tao’s head, previously bowed to hide his tears, whips up to him fast, his fingers gripping around Junmyeon’s wrist hard. Junmyeon just smiles at him. “I know I told you that didn’t happen, but I was just trying not to scare you. I never imagined you’d need to know. But I think you do.” He turns to face Tao and looks him square in the eye, one hand on Tao’s cheek to keep him there. “Taozi, if Yixing didn’t get help I would be dead. And I don’t know what’s going on with you, if this is for you or somebody else, but I need you to remember this when you look at that person, or when you look in the mirror. I want you to think, ‘is this person’s friendship as important as their life?’ Because if it’s a friend of yours, if it’s somebody you care about, then I need you to remember that it will hurt if they hate you, but it will hurt even more if they’re dead and you could’ve done something.” Junmyeon pauses, takes a deep breath, and continues. “And if it’s you, Taozi, then you _better not._ Do you hear me? You tell me or you tell Yixing or Minseok or your mom or the police, but you better not get hurt anymore over this. Because I swear I will follow you wherever you go and drag you back, even if it’s death. Do you understand me?”

Tao nods. He nods so much that Junmyeon cradles his face to stop him before he hurts his neck, and wipes at the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Taozi, do you know what you have to do?” He nods. “Are you gonna tell me who it is?” Tao looks at him, and kisses his cheek, and shakes his head.

“I can do it, hyung. I’ll take care of it. But it’s not me, I promise. It’s not me.”

And if Junmyeon collapses into Tao in relief, it’s okay, because Tao is clinging to him just as hard.

(The next day, Junmyeon hears in the hallways that a little freshman named Xu Ming Hao has taken the rest of the semester off of school, and a group of seniors that Junmyeon has always thought were big jerks have been expelled, and Junmyeon feels something like pride swell in his chest.)

\---

Jongdae's habit of showing up at work almost every day evolves to Jongdae showing up every day with friends. Every day he waltzes into the store and every day he pays for some kind of food in the store that he then tosses to Junmyeon to eat. After a week Junmyeon started to feel guilty, and it got to the point where Junmyeon would smile and lie and say he's already eaten. Jongdae would stare him down until Junmyeon squirms and his face reddens because while Jongdae doesn't say it out loud, his guest, whichever friend it is that day, can easily see that Junmyeon had just been caught lying and it never fails to make them frown. Usually it stops there when Junmyeon reluctantly takes the food, but once it was Luhan and he  _growled_  and grabbed something else and made Junmyeon eat that, too. Junmyeon had been so surprised that all he could do was stare as Luhan crossed his arms and looked at the food pointedly.

Usually it's just Yifan that comes along, but for the past week or so it's been Jongin and Sehun and before he knows it every one of Jongdae's friends has come and stayed for at least forty-five minutes before they walk home.

That being said, it really should've been expected that Jongdae would pull something like this, Junmyeon thinks as eight boys make themselves comfortable in various places around the store. He sighs and rubs his temples, feeling the headache he's been battling get a little stronger. Jongdae's cold fingers on his temple a second later are expected, and Junmyeon softly smiles his thanks before pulling back and taking the bag of chips and money that Luhan pushes on him, frowning disapprovingly.

"Do I need to buy pain relievers and make you take those, as well?" Luhan quips.

Junmyeon shakes his head and smiles softly. “I've had six already. Can you overdose on Ibuprofen?"

"Junmyeon!" Jongdae scolds loudly. Said boy tries not to wince at the sound but he thinks he can feel his muscles twisting his smile into a grimace. Jongdae notices and quiets down, but the look he sends Junmyeon is a silent promise that the conversation is not over.

This time as they walk home, all nine of them, (Junmyeon can't imagine where they all sleep) the others corner him. He's too far from his house to be unable to answer, so of course he's stuck in an awkward situation.

Jongdae clears his throat and pushes some snow around with his sneaker. "Junmyeon, we have a super huge favor to ask you."

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow, (because since when is Jongdae this awkward?) but stays silent.

Jongdae laughs to fill the silence and scratches the back of his head. "We really need you to tutor Sehun?"

It shouldn’t be a question, but it’s got that kind of lilt at the end, and really, since when had Jongdae ever asked for anything else than what he wants? Sehun is visible right over Jongdae’s shoulder, bottom lip trapped between his teeth and an embarrassed flush to his cheeks, and Junmyeon doesn’t have the time to tutor anybody. He really doesn’t.

He lets out a defeated sigh and nods, and has to wait to tell Sehun that he’ll need to help him in between customers at work because the others are cheering obnoxiously. Junmyeon really hopes the neighbors don’t complain to his dad about all the noise.

He pretends to be upset, but honestly he's grown to like these kids (because most of them are younger than him, though they treat him like the baby) and he doesn't really think he'd mind spending time helping the  _actual_  group baby up his grades. The last thing Junmyeon wants is another parent constantly mad at their child.

Because Junmyeon’s father is _very_ angry when Junmyeon turns up ten minutes late, and Junmyeon really can’t bear the thought of baby Sehun, curled under his bed, tears streaming down his face when he should be sleeping. Junmyeon can’t stand the idea of Sehun living his life at home in pain, the way Junmyeon does. 


	4. Chapter 4

If Junmyeon’s eyes are puffy the next day, nobody bothers to mention it. Instead, Baekhyun threads his arm through Junmyeon’s and drags him down the hallway, talking a mile a minute.

“Junmyeon! Just the man I wanted to see. What are the odds you’re free this weekend?”

None, Junmyeon thinks. Junmyeon hasn’t had a real day off in three years, unless he counted the days when he lies at home in pain, unable to move. He’s not sure those count. “Uh, you mean all weekend?”

“Yes! Everybody is coming to my house for a sleepover, and I really want you to be there! _Please_ say you have the weekend off?”

Junmyeon bites his lip. He really can’t afford the week off, and he’s bound to get in trouble with his father for not being home.

But then again, he’s not in immediate need of new clothes or anything he uses the money from his weekend job for, aside from the food that Kyungsoo has taken to making for him anyway. And no matter what he does, his father is going to find a reason to hit him, so it’s not like it really matters if he follows the rules or not.

“Well, I guess I can call in and take off this weekend.”

\---

Junmyeon has only really seen two other houses that are not his own: Jongdae’s and Yixing’s. He’s been in Jongdae’s house on plenty occasions since childhood, when Jongdae’s mother would kindly invite tiny Junmyeon into her home and stuff him full of cookies and cakes and ice cream. He, of course, has not been in Jongdae’s house in quite some time, other than his late night visits for Jongdae’s first aid kit. Yixing’s house was new territory for him, when he went over for the first time in sophomore year. They had been dating at the time, a case of curiosity that ended in a mutual agreement to just stay friends, but at the time it had Junmyeon sitting, slightly uncomfortable, on Yixing’s couch as the other boy padded around to get a movie set up on the TV. Junmyeon was unfamiliar with how to act in someone else’s house, and it had taken him three years to learn how to function.

Baekhyun’s house had Junmyeon feeling nervous all over again. Jongdae and Yixing’s houses were like Junmyeon’s own, just with happier people living inside. Baekhyun’s house was a lot bigger, a lot whiter, and a lot more intimidating.

“My mom’s a lawyer and my dad’s the police chief.” Baekhyun explains as he pulls Junmyeon out of the back seat. “I know it’s a little big, but don’t feel like you have to act different or anything. I _promise_ there is nothing bad you could possibly do that Chanyeol hasn’t already done.”

Yixing laughs over Chanyeol’s affronted noise. “What if I spilled my drink on your carpet?”

“He’s done that.”

“Broke an expensive vase?”

“Done it.”

“What if I-”

“Yixing, I’m not sure what you’re about to say, but I can tell you that Chanyeol has done it. And it wasn’t even that big a deal. Mom just brought somebody in to clean the carpet and replaced the vase.”

“What if I throw up in your foyer?” Junmyeon says, staring at the huge double doors and holding his stomach.

“We’d clean it up.” Baekhyun says easily. “Why? Are you feeling sick? You can lay down when we get inside.”

“No, I think I’m just nervous. I’m okay.”

Chanyeol throws an arm around his shoulder on the way up the stairs to the front door. “But for the record, I’ve thrown up in the foyer too.”

\---

All twelve of them gathered in one house is a little bit of a disaster, Junmyeon thinks. It’s different than at school, when they have to be on their best behavior, or at Junmyeon’s work where they know they’ll get him in trouble if they act up too much. They’re all very rambunctious in a place where they know they can get away with it. Tao, Jongin, and Sehun are having the time of their lives playing video games in the floor of Baekhyun’s bedroom; Minseok and Kyungsoo are curled up on the couch reading; Luhan, Jongdae, and Baekhyun have their heads together gossiping on the bed; and Chanyeol and Yixing are in the corner bonding over Chanyeol’s guitar. At first Junmyeon thought the guitar was Baekhyun’s, because it was already in Baekhyun’s room, but apparently Chanyeol is here more than he is in his own home. Junmyeon hopes that’s just because he and Baekhyun are so close.

Junmyeon is sitting with Yifan in the corner of the room, people watching. Junmyeon watches Yifan watch the others, watches him smile as Tao rubs his victory in the other boy’s faces, and he wonders if Yifan feels as detached as Junmyeon does. Out of all of these boys that he’s come to know, he thinks he and Yifan are the most similar. After all, Yifan and his father don’t get along very well, because his father wants him to do things with his life that Yifan doesn’t want to do, and, other than Junmyeon, Yifan seems the one with the least amount of social skills. Of course, Junmyeon knows Yifan’s been trained on how to talk to important men in expensive suits, but right now, in the corner of the room with him, Junmyeon realizes Yifan must not really understand how to interact with people his age.

Luckily, if Junmyeon is good at anything it’s faking his way through conversations. “I would have thought you’d be familiar enough with Baekhyun’s house to know of more interesting things to do. Why are you sitting in the corner?”

“Because you were sitting in the corner.” Yifan replies easily. “These guys know that they’re a big group and they think that means there are more people for you to talk to. They don’t realize that when there’s more people it’s just harder to join in on a conversation without feeling like you’re interrupting.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon says quietly. “So you’re isolating yourself so I won’t feel bad.”

“I’m not isolating myself,” Yifan laughs. “I’m talking to you.”

“And I’m sure you’re having so much fun, too.”

“Of course I am. You’re a pro at stimulating conversation, didn’t you know?”

Junmyeon snorts and leans over to push at Yifan’s shoulder with his own. They settle into silence for a while, leaning against each other and watching Sehun and Jongin tackle Tao out of fake anger when he wins for what Junmyeon thinks must be the twentieth time.

“Actually,” Yifan says finally, “I don’t really get to just sit and talk like this very often. With the guys it’s always really hectic and I always end up getting dragged into some stupid debate when I just want to relax. And at home it’s just, like, my dad asking me when I’m going to grow up and realize that successful men don’t become successful by having stupid dreams like I do. He wants me to learn the family business, you know. I just wanna play ball.”

He looks over at Junmyeon and grins. “So it’s nice to sit with you and just talk about stuff casually. You’re the calmest out of the group, besides Kyungsoo. And he’s not as fun. He just talks about books and cooking.”

Kyungsoo’s nails tap against the spine of his book just loud enough to tell Yifan he’s listening. Yifan shoots Junmyeon a terrified look, and he laughs at the exaggerated way Yifan widens his eyes and hides behind him.

“Hey you lovebirds!” Baekhyun calls from the bed. “Come over here, stop being buzzkills.”

“What buzz are they killing, Baek?” Kyungsoo drawls from the couch. “None of us are drinking.”

“We’re buzzed on _life_ , Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun says, like it’s obvious, and Junmyeon and Yifan share a laugh before pulling themselves off the floor and over towards the bed.

“Maknaes!” Baekhyun calls next. “Start finishing up, I wanna start watching movies soon!”

“Let them stay on for a little longer,” Kyungsoo says as he closes his book. “I’ll go make dinner and then we’ll start the movies after we eat.”

“You’re cooking?” Yixing asks. “Jun’s a good cook, maybe he’d like to help?”

Kyungsoo turns to look at him, and Junmyeon shrugs. “If you don’t think I’d get in the way, I don’t mind helping.”

Kyungsoo smiles at him and gestures Junmyeon over. “You could never be in the way.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Junmyeon, could you make the sauce while I fix the bread?” Kyungsoo asks over the music Baekhyun has blasting from the living room.

Junmyeon smiles and nods, knowing better than to try to talk over the others’ “singing”. (HEY CUPID HAS SHOT MY HEART!)

“This is a lot of food,” Junmyeon says, (just in time for Baekhyun’s excited ‘TURNED AROUND AND SHOT MY HEART’) “Do you usually make all this on your own?”

( _“Baekhyun, turn that down!” “Never!”_ )

“Not really,” Kyungsoo answers. “I only cook for times like this, where we’re all going to be together for a few days. Otherwise, we order pizza.”

“But for other sleepovers? You cook this much?”

Kyungsoo hums. “Before today I was cooking for eight, so usually a large lasagna or something would cover it.”

“None of the others help?”

Kyungsoo snorts. “You’ve _met_ them, right? There’s no way they’d be any help. They’d be in the way, and a safety hazard more than anything else.”

(“HER, HER, HER BODY PUNCH. PUT ‘EM UP PUT ‘EM UP PUT ‘EM UP.”)

Junmyeon purses his lips. “I don’t mind to help, since now you’ve got to cook for four more. But if I’m ever not around, I think Yixing is actually a pretty good cook as well.”

“You think?” Kyungsoo laughs.

“I’ve never had his cooking, but he feeds Taozi and Minseok pretty often, and they’ve never complained.”

“But why has he cooked for them and not you?”

Junmyeon eyes him over the pot of spaghetti sauce. “Don’t go getting any weird ideas. He’d do it if I let him.”

“So then why don’t you let him?”

Junmyeon stares into the pot, cracking a smile when Baekhyun and Jongdae sing off key on purpose. The others are slightly visible through the doorway, and he watches Yixing laugh for a moment before looking back at Kyungsoo. “I’m the cause of a lot of stress in Yixing’s life, and there’s not much I feel I can do to make it up to him.”

He turns to watch the others dance around while Baekhyun changes the song, and when the music starts back up again, it’s with Baekhyun finally (finally) singing with his real voice instead of a goofy one. When he turns back, Kyungsoo is observing him very carefully. ( _“Baby don’t cry, tonight, as the darkness passes”_ )

“What?” He asks, but Kyungsoo just shakes his head.

“You’re very interesting, Kim Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon blinks, but before he can figure out what to say to that, the sauce starts bubbling. “Ah, I think this is done. What about the bread?”

Kyungsoo nods but stays silent, moving the finished pieces of garlic bread onto a plate while Junmyeon spoons the spaghetti out onto the twelve plates on the table.

Sehun nearly tackles Junmyeon in his excitement to get to the table, but Junmyeon only laughs at his sheepish apologies and pats his head.

( _“When you smile, sun shines…”_ )

Junmyeon calls for the others while Kyungsoo puts out silverware and Sehun stares down at his plate hungrily. He watches Junmyeon’s eyes screw up when he smiles at Jongdae across the table, and watches Yixing sneak some of his spaghetti onto Junmyeon’s plate when Junmyeon turns to wipe sauce off of Jongin’s mouth, and he thinks, yes, they’re going to fit right in.

( _“So baby don’t cry, cry, because my love will protect you.”_ )

\---                             

Junmyeon doesn’t sleep much, even when he’s _not_ sharing a room with eleven other people. He’s always afraid his dad will come in while he’s sleeping, the lock removed long ago. He’s never spent a night away from his house, because asking his father for permission is a dangerous and pointless endeavor. When he _does_ sleep, it’s only for a few hours and usually ends abruptly, most commonly the result of a nightmare.

Which is why he should have expected this, when he wakes up gasping in the middle of the night. He sits up, trying not to disturb Baekhyun and Chanyeol on either side of him. The three of them are sharing Baekhyun’s bed, while the rest of the boys are sprawled out on various surfaces throughout the room. Through the dark, Junmyeon could slightly make out Yifan’s feet sticking out over the armrest of the couch and Tao, Jongin, and Sehun curled up on a nest of blankets in the floor. He does a head count, there’s Jongdae on the blow up mattress with his head in Minseok’s lap, Luhan’s legs thrown over Jongdae’s back. Kyungsoo is curled up under the coffee table and Yixing is splayed across the two bean bag chairs, and the door is firmly closed, Junmyeon’s father nowhere in sight.

A hand on his waist startles him enough that he jumps and gasps, still not completely calmed down. He turns in the hand’s direction and finds Baekhyun staring at him with lidded eyes and thinly veiled concern. Junmyeon pats his hand and smiles reassuringly.

“I’m okay,” he whispers. “I just have to use the bathroom.”

Baekhyun doesn’t comment, but he does give Junmyeon a very unimpressed look. Junmyeon just pats his hand again as he crawls out of bed, careful to not jostle the bed too much and wake Chanyeol. He knows where the bathroom is and makes his way to it, actually going to the bathroom while he’s in there and then splashing his face with water from the sink. He doesn’t feel like going back to sleep now, when he’s going to keep wanting to turn to look over his shoulder to make sure he’s safe. And he doesn’t want to risk waking up from another nightmare in tears, which definitely will not be so easy to explain away.

But not sleeping will look suspicious, so Junmyeon makes his way back to Baekhyun’s room and climbs back into bed. Only now Chanyeol is awake too, and he’s helping Junmyeon get settled before Junmyeon can even ask why he’s not still asleep.

Chanyeol settles in behind him while Baekhyun turns on his side to face him.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Junmyeon flushes. “No, I just had to use the bathroom…”

Baekhyun bites his lip. “You were crying in your sleep, though.” Junmyeon looks away, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol move closer until Junmyeon is sandwiched in between them. “It’s okay to have nightmares sometimes, Jun. Lots of people have them. I heard Taozi has them all the time after he watches scary movies.”

Junmyeon pouts at him and hopes that’s enough of a response for Baekhyun to stop questioning him about it.

“Are you still scared?” Baekhyun asks, and Junmyeon nods a little hesitantly. Baekhyun hums and Chanyeol cuddles him a little closer. “Do you want me to sing to you?”

Junmyeon flushes again and buries his face in the pillow. “I don’t think that will help.”

Baekhyun grins at him a little mischievously. “I think you’re underestimating how calm and soothing my voice is. But I won’t do it if it’ll just make you uncomfortable.”

“Let him do it,” Chanyeol mumbles into the back of Junmyeon’s neck. “He woke me up by elbowing me really hard in the stomach. I need something to distract me from the pain.”

Junmyeon huffs a laugh as Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Baekhyun opens his arms up and Junmyeon shyly scoots forwards until his face is settled into Baekhyun’s neck, and then reaches back to pull Chanyeol forward until he’s squished between them. Baekhyun starts to sing, and Junmyeon smiles against Baekhyun’s chest.

His father couldn’t reach him right now even if he wanted to.

“ _I’m so lucky to have met you. If we meet again, I want to tell you_

_Fly to you, stay by my side_

_You’re beautiful_ ”


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Junmyeon wakes up warm and well rested for the first time in years. It’s only seven in the morning, but he feels like he slept for days. When he climbs out of bed, pausing a minute to smile down at Chanyeol and Baekhyun who roll together into each other and cuddle back up, he notices that Kyungsoo is already up, and the couch where Yifan had gone to sleep is empty as well.

He finds them in the kitchen, following the sounds of pans clanking together and what sounds like a hushed argument. He walks into the kitchen to find Yifan whining with his head on the counter and Kyungsoo looking at him with what appears to be a very unimpressed stare.

“What’s going on?” Junmyeon asks as he walks in, standing an equal distance between them in case it’s a real fight that he doesn’t want to be involved in.

Kyungsoo huffs. “I need more eggs and Yifan is being a big baby and won’t go get them.”

“It’s always me.” Yifan whines. “Why doesn’t anybody else ever have to go grocery shopping for you?”

“Because _you’re_ always the first one up, and by the time anybody else wakes up the rest of breakfast will be ready and I won’t have time to make it.”

“I’ll go, though.” Junmyeon cuts in. “I always wake up pretty early. I don’t care to go from now on.”

“No way, you’re barely one hundred pounds. Somebody will snatch you up.”

“They’ll bring me back.” Junmyeon said, with just enough of a smile for it to seem like a joke. He grabbed his wallet and cell phone from where he’d set them down on the coffee table last night and went to find his jacket on the coat rack by the door. “Are eggs all you need?”

“Maybe more milk, too. Are you sure you’re okay going by yourself, though?”

Junmyeon laughed. “I go grocery shopping by myself all the time. It’s a lot safer now when the sun’s up than it is when I go after my last shift at the convenience store. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure…” Kyungsoo says, trading a look with Yifan.

Junmyeon nods. “I’ll be right back.”

\---

When Junmyeon returns, he’s met with the site of Yifan standing outside in the cold, no jacket, hunched in front of a powerful man whom Junmyeon assumes is Yifan’s father. He freezes for a second, dreadfully familiar with the resigned and submissive pose Yifan is using with his father. It’s similar to how Junmyeon feels his own body bending when he’s at home. Head down, hands clasped in front of him, shoulders as relaxed as he can get them so he doesn’t look defensive.

“Yifan?” He calls, walking up to them. He bows to Yifan’s father, more out of obligation than respect. “What’s going on?”

Yifan smiles at him, a little forced. “Nothing. I have to leave a little early, though.”

“Oh.” Junmyeon says, glancing at Yifan’s father and then back at his friend. “Okay then. We’ll miss you though.”

Junmyeon stands still next to Mr. Wu as Yifan hurries inside to gather his things and tell the others that he’s leaving.

Mr. Wu grunts at him when he notices the stationary boy next to him. “Aren’t you going to follow him back in?”

“Do you hate Yifan’s friends, Mr. Wu?” Junmyeon asks instead, eyes glued to the doorway Yifan had scuttled in through. “Or is it that you just don’t like us poor ones?”

Mr. Wu frowns at him, but doesn’t bother to answer. Junmyeon continues, Yifan’s misery fueling him much more than his own ever had. “We may not have money like Baekhyun’s parents, or Jongin’s parents, but it’s Kyungsoo that makes sure your son eats when he’s too stressed to think of it himself, and it’s Jongdae that jokes around and cheers him up when he thinks he’s disappointed you, and it’s Luhan who seems to know exactly when he needs to be pulled away from his work to go play basketball and cool off. Because those are things you can’t just throw money at to make disappear. He needs friends that will look out for him.”

“So then what is it that you do for my son, child? I’ve never even heard your name before.” Mr. Wu says, cold and intended as an insult. But Junmyeon has heard much worse than that before, so he twists his lips up in a wry smile instead.

“I’m the one who will speak up to his father who expects too much, when he is too afraid to do so himself.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?” Mr. Wu demands, turning towards Junmyeon angrily.

 “Do you love your son, Mr. Wu?”

“Do I- Just what kind of question is that?”

“It’s just that you remind me a little bit of my own father. And I promise you he is not anyone you want to have anything in common with.” Junmyeon drags his gaze from the doorway and looks at Yifan’s father. “My father demands a lot of me, and gets angry when I can’t keep up. He never puts any consideration into my condition, even if I’m sick or I’m depressed he expects things that are impossible for me to give him. And I’m honestly a little afraid of him.”

Mr. Wu opens his mouth, but Junmyeon speaks again before he has the chance to speak. “And you’re exactly the same.”

Yifan’s father recoils a little bit, but Junmyeon pushes on, courage running out under the gaze of someone who could squish him like a bug. “Mr. Wu, if you don’t love your son, go ahead and keep pushing him to take over your company. He loves you, and he is loyal to you, so he’ll do it. But he’ll be miserable. He’ll have to drag himself out of bed everyday knowing that he has to go to a job he doesn’t like, wondering everyday what his life would be like if he’d said no to you, but too afraid of the answer to actually find out. Is that what you want?”

Yifan comes back through the front door, looking shocked when he sees Junmyeon still there with his father, and Junmyeon speaks his last words quicker and quieter, so Yifan won’t hear.

“And one day, he’ll wake up, and he’ll realize he hates his company, and he hates himself, and he’ll hate you, too, for forcing this on him. And it’ll be like he died, to you, because he’ll never be able to smile at you again, knowing you took his happiness from him. Trust me, Mr. Wu, I know exactly how this goes. So if you don’t love your son, and you don’t care that he’s going to end up miserable, continue what you’re doing. But you better hope you don’t regret it. Because Yifan’s dream has a window, and once it’s closed, no amount of your money can get it back for him.”

“What’s up, Jun?” Yifan asks as he walks up, giving his bag to the driver waiting to stow it in the trunk.

“I just wanted to introduce myself to your father, since I don’t expect we’ll meet again anytime soon.”

“Oh…” Yifan says, looking at him oddly.

Junmyeon sighs. “I guess you have to go, though, huh? I’ll head back inside, then.”

“Alright, be careful on the steps, they’ll throw you off balance with all those bags.”

Junmyeon laughs. “I’ll be careful. You be careful, too, okay? Don’t stress out too much. Kyungsoo and I were going to make cookies, I’ll bring you some to school tomorrow, okay? Look forward to it.”

Yifan smiles, a real smile, and Junmyeon pretends not to notice Mr. Wu’s eyes widen from where he stands off to the side.

(And when Junmyeon’s foot catches on the third stair to the door and he stumbles, he pretends not to notice that too.)

\---

Things sober up after Yifan leaves. The kids still play video games in the living room floor, and Jongdae and Baekhyun are still joking loudly from the love seat, but the overall energy has lowered. It’s almost as if they’re all putting an effort into not doing anything Yifan will miss.

Junmyeon himself is curled up on the couch, watching the three youngest bicker and listening to Yixing and Kyungsoo make lunch in the kitchen. Chanyeol is settled in next to him, fingers plucking out a random melody on his guitar. It’s slow and beautiful, and Junmyeon finds himself relaxing even further into the cushions as he listens.

“It’s pretty,” he mutters, into the back of the couch, eyes blinking sleepily. “Are you improvising?”

Chanyeol hums. “Sort of. There are a few parts that I’m trying to figure out what to do with, so like the basic melody is the same, but the rest of it is just stuff I’m making up.”

“That’s amazing,” Junmyeon says, eyes fixed on Chanyeol’s fingers on the strings. “How do you play?”

Chanyeol stops picking out chords in favor of looking at Junmyeon with furrowed brows. “Have you never tried before?”

Junmyeon shakes his head. “In elementary school the kids in my class all got to play around with instruments, but my music teacher wouldn’t let me because my dad wouldn’t sign the paper that said he would replace anything if I broke it.”

“That’s not right,” Chanyeol says, acting as if it was a personal insult. “She should’ve just paid more attention to you to make sure you were doing it right! Were you the only one?”

Junmyeon nods. “I just sat in the corner and watched. But I doubt I would remember anything now even if I did learn it back then, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“It does too matter.” Chanyeol sniffs. “You could be a musical prodigy but we don’t know because you had a crappy music teacher. I’m gonna call and file a complaint.”

Junmyeon laughs, and wonders how Chanyeol would react if he knew about all the things Junmyeon couldn’t do because his father wouldn’t sign the permission slips. Pizza parties, field trips, art shows, talent shows. He won’t be able to go on the study trip right before finals, either.

“I’m sure I wouldn’t have been any good anyway.” He says. “I’m not really especially good at anything.”

“That’s no way to think of yourself.” Chanyeol frowns. “Do you wanna try?”

“Try… playing your guitar?” Junmyeon asks, eyes wide. “What if I break it?”

Chanyeol snorts. “You won’t break it. But even if you did I think Baekhyun would just buy me a new one. There’s one in the window of the shop in the mall that he glances at when he thinks I’m not looking.”

Junmyeon still looks nervous, staring at the guitar like it will catch on fire as soon as he touches it. “Come here,” Chanyeol lays the guitar down in favor of pulling Junmyeon to lounge between his legs, Junmyeon’s back to his chest. He settled the guitar back into Junmyeon’s lap and helped him figure out how to position his fingers.

“This one’s a C,” he says, guiding Junmyeon’s fingers with his own. “And this one’s an E.” He can’t see Junmyeon’s face like this, but he can feel Junmyeon nod against his shoulder. “And if you hold more than one note down, it makes a chord.”

“It’s pretty,” Junmyeon says, twisting to look at him. “But I don’t think this is for me. My fingers barely reach.”

Chanyeol smiles. “Your hands will learn the best way to position for you naturally, but you don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”

Junmyeon bites at his lip. “Can you teach me a song? Like, a baby song or something? I think I’d learn better like that…”

Chanyeol’s smile widens as he nods, sliding down a little more so Junmyeon can settle against him more comfortably. “How about Mary Had a Little Lamb?”


	7. Chapter 7

Junmyeon is nearing the end of his late shift at the coffee shop, and he’s so bored he feels like he can fall asleep right where he is. It’s been awhile since he’s had a shift here on his own, but today everyone else had something going on, so Junmyeon has no one to distract him from the silence of the empty coffee shop.

Junmyeon has long gotten used to the constant noise caused by the eleven boys that follow him around, and he’s lost practice with controlling the tornado in his head. Every shadow is an opening for attack, every creak from the machines are an angry footstep, and Junmyeon is alone, meant to lock up the shop in twenty minutes. Junmyeon knows that any other employee would just lock up earl, but Junmyeon doesn’t bend rules Bent rules and loopholes are only good for the people strong enough to handle the consequences.

Junmyeon thinks of all the times he’d done “less” than what was asked of him. The time his hand was bruised so bad he couldn’t use it and he’d ordered dinner when he was supposed to make it, or the times he was supposed to be home before ten and walked in at nine fifty-five. He feels his heart racing, knees failing, add then he’s on the floor behind the counter, alone in a building with only darkness outside, and Junmyeon sort of wished he could just go ahead and die. He’s tired and he’s scared and he’s bruised all over, and Junmyeon actually really just needs a break, he just really wants this to be over.

Junmyeon is finally pulled out of his head when he registers his phone ringtone over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears. The time, when he finally gathers the energy to grab his phone, is twenty minutes past closing, and Junmyeon shakily pushes the green button under Jongin’s name.

“Hello?”

_“Hey, hyung? How do you feel about dogs?"_

\---

“So this is Monggu, he has a lot of energy so I’ll hold onto him while we’re walking. This one is Jjanggu, he’s a little bit of a fatty, but that’s okay because that means there’s more of him to love.”

Junmyeon blinks hard and tries his best to focus when Jongin introduces a sort of fat little puppy, who lays down as soon as Jongin stops moving. His whole body is sore from last night when he was too slow making dinner. His head hurts from the way it rebounded off the floor and his ribs are sore from where his father stomped them in.

Jongin turns to him with a pretty white puppy in his arms, Monggu and Jjanggu’s leashes wrapped around his wrist. “And this is Jjangah. She’s my pretty girl. Do you want to hold her?”

Junmyeon really wants to shake his head. He’s never seen a dog up close before, never really pet one or interacted with it, and all he can really see is pointy teeth and scary looking nails. But this is Jongin’s dog and he can’t really say no without upsetting him, so he nods his head and holds his breath as Jongin settles the dog in his arms and leans back to grin.

Jjangah is soft, though, and her eyes aren’t as beady and unnerving as they look from far away. She leans up and licks at Junmyeon’s temple like she can sense his headache, and then rests her head on the crook of Junmyeon’s elbow. She closes her eyes, and Jongin laughs as Junmyeon blinks in surprise.

“She must feel like you’re not any threat if she’ll go to sleep that fast. Dogs are really good judges of character, you know.”

Junmyeon did know that, had heard it, but he thinks Jjangah might be broken if she thinks she’s safe because Junmyeon feels like he might drop her. He sits down on the park bench and settles her in his lap, and Monggu yips and jumps up to settle against Junmyeon’s thigh. He feels a heavy weight around his ankles and Jongin laughs in exasperation.

“When we’re at home they run around like little monsters and then I bring them to a dog park and they decide they’re cuddle puppies. What are you doing to my dogs, hyung?”

Junmyeon shakes his head, eyes wide, hands held up because he doesn’t know where to put them. “I don’t know, I don’t know anything about dogs, what do I do?”

“I guess we let them sleep, lazy pups. You can put your hands down; they’ll move if you’re bothering them.” Jongin sits on Junmyeon’s other side and gently digs his fingertips into Jjangah’s fur. The air outside is cold, but Monggu and Jjangah are warm against him and Jjanggu is a firm and comfortable weight on his feet, and Junmyeon finds his eyes drooping, body tilting.

Jongin smiles as Junmyeon’s head drops onto his shoulder.

Later, that night, after the puppies and Junmyeon wake from their naps, they run around the park for hours. Junmyeon gets to teach Jjangah how to shake paws and plays fetch with Monggu until the puppy gets bored and runs off to wrestle with a little brown Pomeranian named Mochi. He’s nearly a minute late when he gets home that night, but it seems luck is on his side because his father isn’t home anyway. He hurries his way through making a dinner to set out for his father, takes his shower, swallows down a few more pain relievers, and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, thinking of sweet little puffballs and the warmth of another person against his side as he sleeps.

\---

In retrospect, sleeping in his freezing room with his hair still wet was probably _not_ the best idea, Junmyeon thinks as he heads to school the next morning. He's glad that he only has a few classes with those dorks that have decided to baby him, because he's sure he has a fever and he'd really love to avoid getting scolded, just for today.

As luck would have it, Junmyeon successfully makes it through his first three classes without drawing enough attention to himself for the teacher to send him to the nurse. It's this next class he's worried about, though, because Trigonometry is that class he shares with Baekhyun and they sit right next to each other, made even worse by the fact that Baekhyun has absolutely no sense of personal space whatsoever, meaning he's sure he'll be found out before the class is over.

Thankfully, Junmyeon gets a text from Kyungsoo right before class starts, saying that Baekhyun won’t be in this class because he has to finish taking a test, and will Junmyeon please inform the teacher.

Junmyeon’s luck runs out at lunch, when he realizes that he was so worried about Jongdae's friends that he forgot about his own. Yixing takes one look at him and gasps loud enough to gain the attention of five neighboring tables. The absence of noise from the corner of the room attracts the attention of the rest of the cafeteria. Junmyeon fears for a moment that Yixing will yell at him in front of the entire school. Instead, Yixing just presses his lips together in a tight line and drags him out of the room. Junmyeon hears extra footsteps and suspects that Tao and Minseok are following as well.

Yixing picks a bench outside the cafeteria and guides Junmyeon to it, his disapproval not making him any less careful. His grip on Junmyeon’s wrist slides down to his hand and he holds onto it while pressing the other to Junmyeon’s forehead. He sighs in that way that only Yixing can, communicating his concern for Junmyeon’s lapse of health and his disappointment that Junmyeon kept it to himself without actually saying anything.

Yixing’s hand is cold, and Junmyeon leans into it. His headache from the night before has only gotten more intense, and he's hot but he's also cold, and he's starving because he's out of his weekend job money and it's noon and the last thing he ate was the bag of chips Luhan had given him the night before and before that it was the sandwich that Jongdae had paid for two nights ago. School lunch costs money, and anything in the kitchen at home is the property of his father and if he's found eating it he doesn't want to think of what would happen.

He feels another set of hands on his shoulders and fingers combing through his hair and places them with Tao and Minseok. But then there's also the heat of a body next to him and arms wrapped around his waist and another hand gripping his and he realizes that Jongdae and the others are here now, too, and Junmyeon thinks that's just great because for once he would love to be babied. He feels someone settle on his other side and then Baekhyun’s humming, lulling him to sleep. He leans into Jongdae and his head finds a shoulder and before he knows it he's asleep in the middle of his school building with eleven very good friends making sure he's okay.


	8. Chapter 8

Junmyeon wakes up in a bed that is not his own, but he's spent enough time in Jongdae’s house to know where he is, even when his brain is muddled with sleep and illness. The blankets are warm, an unusual thing to Junmyeon because his room is always freezing, and he wants to just burrow deeper into them and sleep forever. But he is not home, this is not his bed, and he is intruding. Junmyeon pushes his way up and drags his feet over to the door to the room, pushing it open and wondering idly if he'll be able to make it down the stairs safely.

He does, and thinks that he's really actually very spoiled when he sees nine boys settled in the living room and can hear two more conversing in the kitchen. It must be Kyungsoo and Yixing cooking, because everyone else is settled on or near the wrap around couch watching TV.

It's Jongin that notices him first, and he scoots closer to Sehun to make room for Junmyeon on the couch. He sits carefully, trying not to draw attention to himself. 

Jongin tenses when Junmyeon’s arm brushes his. His face tightens and splays his hands across his legs, and Junmyeon figures his temperature has not gone down. Before Junmyeon can feel any more awkward, though, Jongin smooth’s his face into a reassuring smile and starts squirming around. He moves to face away from Sehun and leans his back against Sehun's shoulder, and then holds an arm out and pulls Junmyeon closer so that his head rests on Jongin's chest. 

Jongin and Junmyeon still aren't the closest out of their large group of friends, but they've all become pretty close and Junmyeon is comfortable enough that he falls asleep with his head on Jongin’s chest with Jongin’s fingers stroking his hair. 

\---

This time, Junmyeon wakes where he fell asleep, still cuddled with Jongin on the couch. Only now they're lying down completely and Jongin’s asleep with both arms wrapped loosely around Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon briefly wonders if he should be embarrassed. He thinks that if someone outside their group were to witness their interactions, there would need to be an incredibly awkward explanation about cuddly platonic relationships. 

Junmyeon squirms out of Jongin’s grip and moves to the kitchen, where it seems everyone but he and Jongin have moved. Minseok smiles at him as he enters, and Chanyeol pats an open seat between him and Luhan. He moves to take it, thinking all the way that Luhan will be shoving food down his throat within three seconds of sitting down. 

He's right, of course, but he's hungry, so he takes it. He thinks back to his house, and he knows that if everybody's here school must be out, which means he should be home. He'll be in a lot of trouble tonight, for sure, and he might even have to call in to work tomorrow and take a sick day. It's Friday, thank goodness, so he won't be short on any of the money he "owes" his father, but the next week is going to be hard on his stomach. He lets Luhan baby him for a few more minutes before thanking them all and apologizing for the bother. They protest, saying it's their job and he should have just  _told them_ , but he's out the door before they have time to get the real scolding in. 

Junmyeon’s never felt as much pain as he was subjected to that night. 

\---

He went to work, dragging a bruised body through his morning routine, down the street, onto the bus and then into his uniform. It was slow going, and he'd had to get up earlier so he wasn't late. It hurt to breathe though, and he thinks that maybe he has a broken rib, but he's out of gauze to wrap it in, anyway, and there's no way he can go to Jongdae. They used to be disconnected enough that even if Jongdae thought there may be something not right, he'd be too scared of being wrong to say anything. But now they're closer, and there's nothing stopping Jongdae from pushing into the bathroom and pulling Junmyeon’s shirt off.

Needless to say, that would be bad.

The day goes slowly, and he hasn't been there two hours before he starts thinking that maybe it would be less painful to just starve until he dies. But, of course he can't do that, because Yixing or Luhan or somebody would find out and then he'd never hear the end of it.

Junmyeon thinks he's been nothing but a bother since he's gotten closer to the others.

\---

“No, sweetie, that one needs to be a negative. See, there’s a negative one outside the parenthesis, so everything _inside_ the parenthesis needs to change signs, remember?”

Sehun chews on the end of his pencil and nods, looking back over his paper while Junmyeon goes to wipe down a table. Sehun’s grades, it turns out, had been below average in nearly every class, and while they weren’t _horrible_ , weren’t failing, they were definitely not where he wanted them to be.

Junmyeon has yet to figure out why Sehun’s grades are so low to begin with, because, from what Junmyeon can tell, he’s _really_ smart. He picks up everything Junmyeon says easily, and Junmyeon only finds himself pointing out a mistake once or twice before it doesn’t appear anymore. It’s almost like just never learned any of this to begin with, which doesn’t make sense because Sehun is _always_ at school.

“What about this one? What do I do here? It says to complete the square.” Sehun asks when Junmyeon gets back. Junmyeon leans over the counter and reads the question upside down, taking a little longer than usual to reread the question so he doesn’t get anything backwards.

“Right, I haven’t taught you that one yet.” Junmyeon glances up to check for customers, and then grabs Sehun’s paper when he doesn’t see any. “You remember which numbers are a, b, and c?” When Sehun nods, Junmyeon writes down the new formula. “So you move c over to the other side of the equals sign and then take half of b and square it. Add the squared number to both sides, like this, and then take half of b and put in the place of the original b. See?”

“I think so…” Sehun nods. “I’ll try the next one and ask you if I get stuck.”

Junmyeon smiles and ruffles Sehun’s hair, snorting when the younger gives him a disgruntled look, and moves off to make the customer at table four another iced mocha. This tutoring thing might not be so bad, after all.

The pride he has in Sehun and the satisfaction he has in himself for helping almost drown out the guilt he feels for being such a bother. Almost.

\---

Junmyeon finds out why Sehun’s grades had been so low a week later, when Luhan comes to pick him up from the café that night and says that Junmyeon is taking the rest of the night off. Junmyeon panics for a moment before Luhan tells him that he called Junmyeon’s boss and they’d both agreed that one night’s paid vacation for the boy who works every single night was more than reasonable.

Luhan buys Junmyeon a muffin from the café before taking him by the hand and leading him to the car. Junmyeon doesn’t bother to ask where they’re going, just curls up in the seat with the heater on full blast and tries to eat his muffin as fast as he can without clueing Luhan in on the fact that it’s the end of the week and Junmyeon ran out of money to buy food with two days ago.

He ends up drifting off in the car, snuggled up with a blanket Luhan pulled out from the back seat, and wakes up only when he’s blasted in the face with cold air. He mumbles sleepily, and the blanket is pulled more tightly around him before he feels arms underneath him and pulling him out of the car.

They’re at a dance studio, he finds out. There’s a class going on right now, so Junmyeon sits in the waiting room with Luhan and Chanyeol, but he can see Sehun and Jongin in the practice room through the glass. There are a bunch of other kids in there, too; a kid that looks a little like Jongin but with lighter hair, a brunet with colorful streaks in his bangs, and a few girls off to the side. Jongin and Sehun are the only two dancing at the moment, movements perfectly in sync as they move with the beat.

Junmyeon doesn’t think he’d be much of a dancer, but the music is really nice. He doesn’t spend too often listening to music, what with all the work and school and then at home making noise is a _very_ bad idea, but he thinks he really likes this. Whatever song the boys are dancing to is fast paced and exciting, and Junmyeon finds himself humming along after he gets the hang of the chorus.

He pretends he doesn’t notice Chanyeol and Luhan grinning from either side of him.

When the other kids all start gathering up to leave, Luhan guides Junmyeon into the practice room. He feels a little awkward, after all, he’s not a dancer, he shouldn’t be in a dance studio, but they all just smile and wave at him on their way out. He finds himself waving back, completely out of his element and unable to form proper human responses. Jongin laughs at him when he sees it, and pulls Junmyeon down to sit next to him on the floor.

“They know of you because Sehun and I mention you sometimes. Don’t worry so much about it.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, still slightly dumbstruck, “why do you talk about me?”

Sehun snorts from Jongin’s other side, sprawled out on the floor. “Because they got tired of listening to us talk about everyone else. Taemin is in our grade and asked about you, Minseok, Yixing, and Tao when we all started hanging out.” He sits up and flashes Junmyeon a smirk. “Some of the girls think you’re pretty cute, too. Yuri even left early when we told her Luhan was bringing you by because she said she didn’t know how to talk to you.”

And what was Junmyeon supposed to say to that? “So, uh, you guys dance.” He says, deciding to just change the subject to a safer topic. “You’re really good.” And then, as an afterthought, “Are we allowed to still be in here?”

Sehun grins and lays himself across Jongin’s legs to be closer to Junmyeon, putting his feet in Chanyeol’s lap in the process. “You thought so? Thanks, we practice a lot. Well,” he says, “I practice more than Jongin, though. He’s more natural than me. I have to work more to keep up.”

Junmyeon shrugged. “It didn’t look that way to me. It looked more like you two have different styles of dancing that you’re good at. Maybe you wouldn’t have to practice so much if you stopped trying to imitate Jongin. He’s more fluid, but you’re sharper. They’d look good together.” Sehun doesn’t answer right away, staring wide eyed up at Junmyeon instead. He blushes when he feels all of the others staring at him as well. “So, you’re sure we’re allowed to still be in here?”

“Yeah,” Luhan says slowly, still looking at Junmyeon like he just fit a new piece to the puzzle. “Jongin and Sehun both have keys to this place. They’re allowed in here whenever.”

“Oh…” Junmyeon says. “Oh! So I bet that’s why you’re having trouble in class, huh?” He says to Sehun. “You’re too tired.”

Sehun smiles sheepishly as Jongin snorts. “He forgets to go home, sometimes. I have to bring him clothes to change into. He keeps extra shampoo in the storage closet in case he can’t go home for a shower.” Sehun swats at him (Junmyeon barely contains his flinch.)

“I see,” Junmyeon smiles. “I’ll just have to text you and remind you to go home from now on, then.”

He leans back against Luhan, still wrapped in that blanket, and watches Jongin and Sehun practice for another hour before he convinces them to go home.

He’s late getting home that night, too.


	9. Chapter 9

Saturday Junmyeon goes to work alone, because it’s farther away than his other two jobs and everyone else is busy. Yixing texts him and says he can meet him there to take him home later, ( _I really don’t like you riding that bus alone at night, Junmyeon, remember that one time…_ ) but Junmyeon turns him down. He’s moving really slow again today, his ribs and back are really, _really_ sore, and he’d rather his friends not be around because, as a waiter, Junmyeon’s going to be walking around all day and there’s no way he’s going to be able to hide it.

Which is why, four hours into his shift, Junmyeon nearly has a panic attack when Luhan and Minseok walk in and choose a seat right there in Junmyeon’s section. Luhan looks surprised to see him, Junmyeon hadn’t told the new group of friends much about his other job, but Minseok smiles at him pleasantly. “When is your lunch break, Jun? Do you want to eat with us? It’s my treat today, since Luhan paid for the pizza last week.”

Junmyeon is just about to tell them _no thank you, I already took my break_ when one of his coworkers walks by and invites herself into the conversation. “Junmyeon skipped his lunch break today. Worked right through it.” And then to Junmyeon, “Jinki and I can cover your tables for awhile, Junmyeon. You should take a break.”

“Thanks, Jinri.” He smiles, because how can he be mad when this girl is genuinely so sweet? Even if he will have to sit through lunch with probably the two most perceptive out of all of his friends and pretend like every bone in his body is not screaming at him to lie down.

He grabs their drinks on his way from dropping his apron off in the rec room, and finds Luhan and Minseok laughing over something. And as weird as that is, because Junmyeon didn’t realize they were close, he’s glad that Minseok, Tao, and Yixing have integrated into this new group as well as he did. Yixing is becoming fast friends with Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and when Tao isn’t with Jongin and Sehun he’s with Yifan.

Lunch turns out to be a really trying ordeal. Junmyeon’s sleeves keep slipping up, and he hadn’t been able to cover the bruises on his arms because he ran out of concealer, so he spends the entire hour tugging at his sleeves and peaking up at his friends to see if they noticed anything. Minseok catches his gaze once and looks at him sadly, and Junmyeon thinks that is a very bad sign, but it’s Luhan who causes the most concern. “Junnie, are you okay? You keep squirming around.”

Junmyeon tries to laugh it off, throwing out excuses for everything. He reaches up to scratch at the back of his head, though, which is a mistake. His sleeve pulls down, showing his bruises, and when he realizes it he jerks his arm back down, jarring his ribs and setting his nerve endings on fire.

Luhan doesn’t comment on it, though. He doesn’t pretend he didn’t see it, either, or act like it wasn’t a big deal. He just stares at Junmyeon for the rest of the meal, and hugs him really carefully when it’s time for he and Minseok to go, and something about how careful he was about it all makes Junmyeon really uncomfortable.

Minseok is wary of the bruises when he leaves, and the whole interaction leaves behind a heavy feeling of dread.

But then Minseok stops and turns back around. “Jun, do you want to come hang out at my house sometime?”

\---

Minseok’s house is not as big as Baekhyun’s, but it’s nicer than Junmyeon’s, with an obviously well cared for garden in the front and a child-painted birdhouse hanging from the lowest branch of a tree framing the side of the house. Junmyeon can barely make out the sight of Minseok’s mother laughing through the kitchen window.

Junmyeon looks at Minseok’s house, which by appearances alone quite similar to Junmyeon’s own. The color is the same, the structure is similar. They both have shutters around the windows and pretty curtains hanging just inside. But Minseok’s house is just like that. He lives there happily with his family so his house looks happy and lived in. Junmyeon’s house looks like that so nobody will get suspicious.

Not for the first time, Junmyeon feels incredibly fake.

Minseok’s mother catches sight of them through the window, and her cheeks puff out when she smiles just like Minseok’s. When she pulls the front door open, her eyes crinkle as she laughs and throws her arms out.

“Luhannie!” She calls, throwing her arms around him when they get close enough. Junmyeon releases his hand so as not to get dragged along with him. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in years! You’re always dragging Minseok out instead of coming to visit.” She’s pouting at him, and Junmyeon isn’t sure but he doesn’t think this is an appropriate way to interact with someone’s mother. But Luhan just laughs and calls Minseok’s mother _mama_ as he apologizes, and Junmyeon doesn’t really understand what’s going on.

Minseok’s mother’s gaze finally lands on him, and he reaches out and grabs Luhan’s hand again. “Well hello! I think I recognize you.”

Minseok throws an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders and ruffles his hair. “This is Junmyeon, mom. You’ve seen him in pictures.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Kim claps, moving aside to let them in. “Right! Yixing and Taozi talk about you all the time. I’m surprised you’ve never come over before.”

Minseok laughs. “Even though we’re been friends for so long, Jun is only just starting to hang out with the rest of us. It only took eight more people to finally convince him to work fewer hours.”

Mrs. Kim’s eyebrows pull together as she frowns. “The other two came over all the time. You were always working?”

Minseok pulls Junmyeon down on the couch between Luhan and himself. Cuddled between them, it’s easy for Junmyeon to settle down, sinking into Minseok’s side as he nods.

“He doesn’t work quite as much anymore.” Minseok says for him. “We know it makes him nervous to not always be productive, so we’re really proud of him for taking care of himself even if it makes him uncomfortable.”

Junmyeon’s face flushes, but he doesn’t know if it’s from embarrassment or shame. He squirms to bury his face into Minseok’s chest and tries not to cry as he apologizes in his head. Mrs. Kim coos at him, obviously thinking he’s shy because he’s being bragged on, and she pets his hair before she leaves. He hears her tell the other two that she’s going to work and then feels her lips press against the top of his head. Surprised, Junmyeon tilts his head slightly to peek out with one eye, and just barely catches her waving at him before she closes the door.

“Your mom just kissed me goodbye.” He squeaks.

Luhan laughs. “Of course she did. That’s what mom’s do.”

Minseok tenses up, but Junmyeon knows that Luhan doesn’t know any better. “Nobody’s ever done that before.”

Luhan pauses to look at Minseok, brows drawn together like he doesn’t understand, and his eyes widen when he finally understands. “ _Oh._ I’m sorry, Jun. I didn’t know.” His face screws up in guilt, and Junmyeon rushes to shift his body weight and lean into Luhan instead.

Luhan folds him into his arms immediately, hugging him close and apologizing again. Junmyeon shushes him. “I never got to know my mother anyway, hyung. She died when I was still a baby. I’m not upset about it.”

Junmyeon feels the heat on his back and Minseok lays over him, squishing Junmyeon between them. “So you’ve never had anyone to kiss you goodbye? What about your dad?”

Junmyeon wrinkles his nose up, shoves down the shiver that tries to tear through his spine. “My dad doesn’t really do that stuff. We both work a lot, so we don’t interact much.”

Luhan’s frown tells Junmyeon exactly what he thinks of that, but Junmyeon just shrugs at him. It would be a lot worse for him if he _did_ interact more with his father. Of course, it’s not like Luhan knows that.

“So what do you guys want to do?” Junmyeon asks.

“What’s wrong with what we’re doing right now?” Minseok teases, squishing his face into Junmyeon’s shoulder blades.

“Well I figured you invited me over because you had something planned.”

Junmyeon shivers when Minseok huffs a warm breath over his back. “I invited you over because you were hurt and stressed and I wanted you to relax. And also because everyone else was getting Junmyeon time and I was jealous.” 

Junmyeon snorts into Luhan’s shoulder.

“I’m serious!” Minseok laughs. You went and played with Jonginnie’s dogs and you tutor Sehun all the time, and Taozi hangs off you like a koala. You’re hyungs want cuddle time, too, you brat. How dare you neglect us!”

Junmyeon laughs, squirming in between them when Minseok gently digs his fingers into Junmyeon’s sides and tickles him. He can feel Luhan’s chest shaking as he laughs, but he doesn’t really have much concentration to think about it.

“Stop!” He laughs. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I can’t breathe, hyung, stop!”

Minseok has mercy on him and withdraws his fingers, wrapping his arms around Junmyeon’s waist instead. They lay there for a little longer, before Luhan starts squirming and they have to get up to let him off the couch.

He grins. “I know what to do. Junnie’s working all the time, he probably hasn’t seen a whole bunch of movies. We should have a marathon. Then he can relax and we still get our cuddles.”

Junmyeon nods. “I’ve always wanted to see the Harry Potter movies. Do you have those?”

Luhan beams and ignores Minseok’s outburst of _you’ve never seen the Harry Potter movies???_ “Those’ll work. But first,” he grins, eyes glinting, “we’ve gotta load up on fatty stuff.”

Luhan takes off towards the kitchen, and Minseok shoots Junmyeon a panicked look before he scurried after him. “Luhan, you foodie, stay out of my pantry!”

“Dibs on the Oreo’s!”     

\---

That night, Junmyeon gets home before his father, and he’s so happy he feels like he’s floating. He breezes through making dinner for his father and doing laundry and cleaning up the mess of beer cans in the living room. He can still feel the warmth of his hyungs on either side of him, can still sense the rare feeling of being just a little past comfortably full, and he wonders I this is what it’s like to be happy.

When his father comes home, it’s with drunken slurs and angry pounding on the stairs, and Junmyeon clings to the memory of his hyungs keeping him safe when he drags his blankets with him into the closet to hide. 


	10. Chapter 10

When Monday rolls around Junmyeon finds himself in a bad place. He tries to ignore it, at first, but of course it sticks with him. It sits on his shoulder and makes sure he notices how Jongin cuts back on his erratic movements before school because Junmyeon is suddenly in reach and  _what if he hits him?_  And then Chanyeol struggles to quiet himself down because  _maybe Junmyeon has a headache_. And then there's Luhan and Jongdae who are always wasting money on him and Kyungsoo gets up extra early to make him lunch and Minseok and Tao must be beside themselves because Yixing is too preoccupied making sure Junmyeon is okay to pay attention to them. And then there's Yifan who has his own problems because his dad is on him to go to a college he doesn't want to go to and major in what his dad wants him to major in but he's dealing with it all by himself and poor baby Sehun that never gets any attention anymore because everything's _Junmyeon Junmyeon Junmyeon_. What about Sehun’s grades? He's pulled up three letter grades in four classes but Junmyeon’s pretty sure he's the only one that knows because Sehun says it's no big deal, they should've been that way to begin with.

_Why are you such a bother?_

The dismissal bell rings and Junmyeon high tails it home, carefully avoiding the eleven boys that he's probably worrying to death.

_You can't win._

He calls work when he gets home and tells them he can't make it in today. He's not in a well enough state of mind to come up with an excuse, so he knows he won't get paid for his absence.

_You can't even take care of yourself._

His father will be angry when he's short on money at the end of the week. He can't bring himself to care.

_Maybe he'll finally get tired and get rid of you._

Junmyeon sucks in a breath and expels it again harshly. He can't breathe, he can't breathe.

_Good._

His hands smack the porcelain of his sink as he collapses against it, and he pitches forward, his head smashing into the mirror.

_You’re staining the counter, Junmyeon._

His chest heaves, dragging air in and out but none seems to actually reach his lungs. Part of him wants to laugh. After all of this, he's going to die and his father won't even be in the house.

His vision is blurred, he can't see,  _he can't see_. The realization hits hard, and he finally feels tears streaming, and then he might as well be blind because all he can see is shapes.

His body gives, and Junmyeon hits the floor hard.

_Are you even here?_

That one sounds suspiciously like Sehun, and if Junmyeon’s going to die he'd really rather do it now before he starts actually hearing things.

_Junmyeon?_

No.

_Juuunmyeoon._

No!

_Junmy-_

No no no no no no!

_Oh God._

Is he going to die or not? His head really hurts.

_Oh God, oh God. Yixing! Jongdae! Minseok, Yifan! Oh God, anybody! He's in here! He's-_

Finally, Junmyeon's vision blacks. He thinks it's about time. 

\---

Two days into Junmyeon’s hospital stay Jongdae bursts into his room claiming he brings big news.

Actually, he breathes heavily like he's run the whole way here, but he tiptoes to Junmyeon’s side and refuses to meet the older boy’s eyes, just like the two days before. Junmyeon realized as soon as he woke up that he’d really scared his friends this time. Yixing has barely stopped crying and Luhan refuses to have anything to do with him. Besides those two, it’s just been really awkward, because what do you say to your friend who had a panic attack and would’ve died if you hadn’t gone looking for him?

Obviously, they settled on an answer, which is:  _nothing_. Junmyeon’s never seen them all together and still this quiet, even when they came to visit him and Sehun at the library they nearly got thrown out by the librarian.

Junmyeon repositions to cross his legs under himself. Jongdae squirms under his gaze. “I’m not sure if it’s good news or not, though. I think it is, but it seems like every time I think something about you I’m proved wrong.”

Junmyeon recognizes the statement for what it is; a direct blow focused on his acting happy and honestly not being so. He sends an apologetic smile Jongdae’s way, and tries not to let it hurt when it isn’t returned.

“Junmyeon, we, that is, my parents and I… we got a call from your dad this morning.”

Junmyeon freezes, the smile on his face twitching as his blood runs cold.

“He said that he got a promotion, and he’s moving away. He wanted me to tell you that he’ll send you money to keep the house and he’ll pay for school, so long as you don’t, quote,  _cause any problems._ ”

_Don’t let it get out that I beat you._

Junmyeon feels like the whole world is falling down around him.

For the second time that week, Junmyeon finds himself drowning on air. His breathing speeds up until he feels light headed and he leans forward until his forehead presses against the mattress. If his brain were working properly, he would know that the action is just making it harder for him to breathe. Thankfully, Minseok’s brain is functioning normally and the older boy pulls Junmyeon up and into his lap, tucking his head under Minseok’s chin and rocking. Minseok’s fingers are dancing up and down Junmyeon’s spine, and he registers a voice humming next to him that he places as Baekhyun’s.

Junmyeon can feel the awkwardness evaporate as they all pile onto the bed, sinking back into their well-practiced rolls of comforting Junmyeon. The only one who holds firm in his bad mood is Luhan, who crosses his arms and huffs loudly from across the room. Junmyeon feels his heart sink and curls into Minseok.

If he were paying more attention, he would’ve caught the concerned glance the Chinese boy threw him from his corner.

Junmyeon closes his eyes and focuses on listening to Minseok’s heartbeat. He can feel hands holding his and fingers wiping at tears he hadn’t realized he’d shed and warmth all around because everybody has to be petting some part of him or he obviously could not possibly ever calm down.

He thinks it should be overwhelming, but instead he just feels like there’s a piece missing.

He sobs, curling in tighter and this time it’s into himself, knees meeting his forehead and his hands pulling from Tao’s and Sehun’s as he wraps them around his shins. His whole body shakes as he cries, and Baekhyun is humming louder and petting his hair, and Kyungsoo is joining in, attempting to soothe him or maybe drown him out.

He hears Chanyeol ask why he’s crying and then Jongin suggesting something like  _maybe he just feels abandoned_  and he shakes his head furiously, trying to find the words to explain that his father is a  _monster_  but  _how is Junmyeon supposed to suddenly change everything?_

He doesn’t have to, though, because Luhan does it for him, in a cold voice that doesn’t match with his face or his personality or his anything. “No, it’s shock. He’s lived his whole life with an abusive monster, what’s he supposed to do now?”

The humming breaks off and Junmyeon feels Minseok stop breathing, and he thinks that maybe he does, too, because  _Oh God they know now what do I do?_

But it clicks. It makes perfect sense, and Junmyeon can feel the horror in the air. He sobs harder, and Minseok’s fingers find their way back to his spine, massaging gently with a newfound care because all he can think of _is the boy in my arms right now has been abused._

Luhan moves forward suddenly, grabbing Yifan’s shoulders firmly and moving him off the bed and towards the door. Then he’s back and repeating the action with Jongdae and Sehun until the group gets the picture and they all head towards the door. Minseok presses a kiss to the top of Junmyeon’s head before moving the younger boy back down onto the blanket, and Junmyeon stays that way, on his left side with his right arm up by his face, because he just can’t find the energy to move and he doubts it’ll make much of a difference anyway.

Luhan’s gaze settles back on him as the door clicks shut, and his eyes soften immediately. “Oh, Junmyeon.” He sighs. He moves to lie down beside Junmyeon, hand coming up to brush the hair out of Junmyeon’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell them. I really didn’t. But why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell _anybody?_ I would’ve gotten you out, Jun. I would’ve taken you with me and you wouldn’t ever have had to go home.”

“What about your parents, Luhan?” Junmyeon’s voice sounds weak and tired, even to his own ears. “You still live with them. I doubt they’d be okay with you just bringing in some kid that can’t even take care of himself.”

“You’ve been taking care of yourself for seven years, Jun. Without any help.”

Seven years is _awfully_ specific, and way to accurate to be a guess. Junmyeon fixes Luhan with a weak stare. “How do you know that?”

The other boy’s fingers pet at his hair. “The doctors and I pieced it together. It’s technically not allowed, but since your guardian and only living relative ditched out and failed to appoint a replacement, and Minseok didn’t want to leave your side, I was the oldest and I was a witness, and they needed to know what was going on.

“They had to x-ray you, and they found a lot of stuff that couldn’t have happened recently.” Luhan’s voice is tight. “You have improperly healed fractures at least ten years old.”

Junmyeon sniffed. “He had to stop being so obvious when I got old enough to take gym. He aimed more for my stomach and back around the time I turned twelve. My ribs took most of the damage after that.” Junmyeon just wants to cry. It hurts to talk about it. It hurts to know that somebody knows, that several people know. That his friends know.

Oh no.  _Yixing_  knows.

“I never wanted Xing to find out.”

“He deserved to know anyway, sweetie. He’s your best friend. We’re all here for you, but Yixing’s been here longer. He helped you even when he didn’t know you needed help.” Fingers wiped away more tears. “Nobody blames you for being scared to tell, Jun. Not one of us. It just hurts for us to think about all the pain you’ve been through. But we can’t help but think that if we’d  _known_ -”

“Luhannie.” Junmyeon interrupts. The older boy quiets instantly. “How about I let you take care of me from now on and we just don’t worry about it?”

Luhan moves to press his forehead to Junmyeon’s. “Deal.”


	11. Chapter 11

Junmyeon stays in his house, but so does everybody else. The perks of having eleven best friends, he finds, is usually there’s at least  _one_  of them available at all times. He’s hardly ever left alone, and while Junmyeon doesn’t actually mind, he suspects that this is action on the orders of one Luhan, who has decided that Junmyeon is his charge and therefore takes it upon himself to make sure that he’s never left alone.

_“You have spent the last seven years of your life with one best friend and two almost-friends. We have a lot of time to make up for.”_

Junmyeon had smiled and rolled his eyes and said something sarcastic, but it was useless because both he and Luhan know full well that it will be a long time before Junmyeon craves being alone. It’s not like he has any other way to pass his time, anyway.

Luhan made him quit his jobs. Junmyeon had looked to the others for help, but all he succeeded in doing was pulling ten people into an argument in which not one of them agreed with him.

Junmyeon wasn’t really sure what to do with himself in all his free time. Usually when Kyungsoo comes over he teaches Junmyeon how to _really_ cook, which is great because Junmyeon’s found he’d really actually very good at it. He continues to tutor Sehun, and Jongin uses his TV to occupy himself because Sehun and Jongin usually show up together. Jongdae ends up dragging Junmyeon over to his house when they hang out, because he absolutely despises the thought of the things that have gone on in Junmyeon’s.

Tao has taken to teaching Junmyeon wushu, because he says he’s gone long enough without knowing how to protect himself. Junmyeon’s usually so worn out by the end of it that it takes both Yifan and Baekhyun to convince him to take a shower before he curls up on the couch for a nap. Meanwhile Chanyeol busies himself making popcorn and putting in a movie and gathering blankets so that all Junmyeon has to do when he gets out is pick someone to cuddle with and get comfy.

\---

It’s only about a week after he’s released from the hospital that Tao cuddles him up on the couch and asks him for the full details about why his father left.

Yixing is quick to scold him, saying that it’s none of his business, but Tao quiets all of their complaints easy enough.

“He needs to talk about it to come to terms with it himself. Until he does that, he’s going to go to sleep every nigh afraid that his dad will be here when he wakes up the next morning.”

So Junmyeon curls into Tao’s arms and closes his eyes, and tells all of his friends about how his dad said he was sick of taking care of him. How he said that he had more than enough of his own money to pay for their dingy little run down house for long enough for Junmyeon to find a way to take care of it himself, as well as whatever new living commodities he found for his new job.

Junmyeon tells them about how his father straight out told him that he never wanted to see him again, and that he would call periodically to remind Junmyeon that telling anybody would cause him a lot more trouble than it’s worth. He tells them about how his father said he’s done with kids, hates them, hates Junmyeon, and not to worry about any little siblings turning up because even if he does knock some girl up he sure as hell isn’t taking care of the kid. About how he said he’ll send her money just like he’s sending Junmyeon money, and he never wants anything to do with it after that.

Junmyeon mutters his insecurities about it into Tao’s neck. About how he would like to know why his father is suddenly bored of hitting him around when he seems just fine with it until last week. About how he isn’t really sure what to do with his free time now that he doesn’t always have to be at home or working.

He makes sure his face is hidden when he apologizes, because he knows he’s still going to be afraid of sudden movement and angry yelling for a long time, and he knows he’s still going to have panic attacks and nightmares that wake him up screaming, and he knows it’s going to be an inconvenience on them.

He’s not sure quite what to think when they coax him out of his hiding spot and give him kisses on his forehead after Baekhyun flicks him for “being stupid.”

\---

Minseok makes a point to come over near the end of the line, when most of the others have come and gone and the excitement that Junmyeon uses to keep himself distracted is over. He’s ridiculously good at comforting Junmyeon without saying anything. He’s also ridiculously good at knowing when Junmyeon’s starting to think bad of himself again, and is quick to mend it with his broad range of techniques. These usually include smacking Junmyeon (very,  _very_  lightly) on the back of the head, and then leaning over to kiss the spot he’d just smacked as a way of reaffirming his love. Junmyeon wonders how long it will be before the others realize that they could push him off a cliff and he wouldn’t doubt them.

Tonight Minseok comes over to a very tired Junmyeon shuffling around the kitchen, Yifan hovering over him ready to offer any assistance should Junmyeon need it. He won’t of course, and they all know it, because Junmyeon had been cooking for himself and his father for years and he’s only gotten better with Kyungsoo’s cooking lessons.

Yifan can’t seem to help himself though, the world’s largest mother hen, and personally Minseok thinks it’s pretty funny. He drops his stuff off on the couch and moves over to Junmyeon to wrap his arms around Junmyeon’s waist. “What are you making?”

“Just ramen. And rice. Kris said he was hungry and they’re the quickest to make.” Kris grumbles from off to the side and Minseok thinks that Kris had maybe mentioned going out to eat and Junmyeon had decided to cook instead.

He smiles. “Okay, how about after we eat we just watch a movie? We’re all worn out from midterms, it’ll be nice.”

Yifan sends him a look over Junmyeon’s shoulder, somewhere between relieved and thankful, but probably a little of both. Junmyeon nods and serves up the food.

They end up eating on the couch, all three of them squished together so they can share blankets. They’ve put Junmyeon in the middle, not like he’s surprised. The bowls end up forgotten on the coffee table, Junmyeon curled up, half in Minseok’s lap and half in Yifan’s, and falls asleep. Minseok and Yifan share a glance above him, both perfectly content.

When the house phone rings a while later, but Junmyeon’s cell phone remains silent, it is Minseok that answers, voice cold and unforgiving. When he hangs up, it is Yifan that pulls the cord from the socket.

Junmyeon’s father has no right to him anymore.

\---

Besides Luhan, Yixing is over most often. He’s the one that shows up in the middle of the night, car keys and phone in hand and pajamas in place. Junmyeon doesn’t bring up Yixing’s nightmares, and Yixing doesn’t bring up Junmyeon’s. They just curl up together and go back to sleep, because they are together and they are safe and they are not alone. They don’t have to talk about it. They both know they dream about the same thing, anyways.

Tonight Yixing is extra clingy, and when they curl up together it’s Yixing curled into Junmyeon and holding on for dear life. Junmyeon does his best to be comforting, petting Yixing’s hair, humming softly, but Yixing still sniffles, still buries his face in Junmyeon’s chest and curls his fingers into Junmyeon’s shirt like that will keep him from drifting away.

And Junmyeon tries not to ask questions, because he knows that when it’s him he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he’s never seen Yixing like this, so sad and scared, and he’s really, _really_ worried. So he asks, carefully, quietly, “What’s wrong, Xingxing?”

Yixing’s arms snake around him and pull him impossibly closer, and Junmyeon keeps his fingers moving on Yixing’s scalp as Yixing pulls back to look at him. “You were almost gone. You were almost gone, again, just like sophomore year. Someone was hurting you, and pushing you down and breaking you into pieces, and I _didn’t notice_.”

Junmyeon sighs and squirms down so he and Yixing are face to face. “What happened sophomore year was not your fault. And what my dad did was not your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”

Yixing shudders as he breathes and moves to rest one hand on Junmyeon’s head, petting back his hair. “Please don’t call him that, Jun. Please don’t tell me that you think of him as your dad. That’s not what a dad is, Jun. He’s not…” Yixing squeezes his eyes closed and takes a deep breath. “He’s not anything. He’s a monster, and he’s everything that a father shouldn’t be. He didn’t protect you, didn’t take care of you, he didn’t make you stop working even though you were running yourself into the ground, I should’ve noticed, but he was no good. So please don’t call him that.”

Junmyeon smiles sadly. “This has really messed you up, hasn’t it?” Yixing doesn’t comment, just sniffles, and Junmyeon makes a decision. “I was already a really good actor by the time we met, you know? And I told you things on purpose, when we first met, so you would make the wrong connections. When I first passed on karaoke and told you I didn’t have much money, I meant for it to tell you that we were poor, that I needed those jobs to help support my family. Which is _true_ , I never lied to you, but I implied that my- that, uh, _he_ , he was working, too, to support us, but he wasn’t. I don’t know where his money goes, but it wasn’t ever towards me. But that’s a good thing, Xing, you know? Because now even though I still have to pay for all of this myself I don’t suddenly have to come up with extra money. He’s even paying for the house, which is weird, but I think he’s just trying to keep me quiet.”

Yixing shakes his head, though, not seeming appeased at all. “I still should have noticed. You always said you were clumsy, when you had bruises that you couldn’t hide, but I never saw any of it. You’re so steady on your feet, so why didn’t I question it? And you were always so sad, even though you tried to pretend you weren’t, and I thought it was because you were lonely, so I introduced you to Minseok, and then Tao came in and I thought he’d be a good friend for you, too.”

“They were.” Junmyeon promises. “ _You were_. Yixing,” Junmyeon levels him with a stare, “I would’ve given up years ago without you. You always took care of me, always helped me even though you didn’t know what you were helping.” Junmyeon pauses and bites at his lip. “I was just a little kid, Yixing. The only other people I knew before you were my- _him_ , Jongdae, and Jongdae’s parents. And he would tell me things, not Jongdae but, you know, _him_ , he would tell me things and he made me feel so irrelevant, you know? I didn’t have any reason for being, except that he told me that I had to be there, and I just went through the motions. And I thought Jongdae’s family was so strange, because Jongdae was always running around and he wasn’t acting hurt, and I thought _his_ family was the strange one. I thought the way we did things was normal.

“You came along and you showed me how I was supposed to be treated and _that’s_ why I was sad, because I finally saw what I’d been missing, but you made everything so much better. I would have stopped trying so long ago without you, Yixing, _please_ don’t blame yourself. I didn’t want you to know. _I_ kept it a secret from you, so if it’s either of our faults it’s mine.”

Yixing had long since maneuvered them into a new position, with Junmyeon tucked into his side, head on Yixing’s chest, and curled himself around Junmyeon now. “None of this was your fault, Junnie. Please tell me you know that. Please don’t cry.” And Junmyeon hadn’t realized he was crying, but now the gates burst open and he’s sobbing.

Yixing holds him all night, and Junmyeon holds on to Yixing, and they cry together. Yixing hushes all of Junmyeon’s _why wasn’t I good enough, what did I do?_ ’s and Junmyeon quiet’s all of Yixing’s _should’ve figured it out_ ’s, and when they wake up in the morning they both have puffy eyes and sore throats, but Junmyeon has never felt more at peace, and Yixing smiles at him, and he hopes it’s the same for him.

\---

Luhan hardly leaves. He goes to school, but of course Junmyeon attends the same school so it isn’t like they spend much of that time apart, and then Luhan goes to work (a real job, at Yifan’s dad’s corporation as an intern. He’s great at it, and he’s already managed to grab the attention of the higher ups. Yifan’s just glad the spotlight is off of him.) Junmyeon usually spends that time apart doing any chores he has to that require moving, because Luhan’s nerves twist when he’s not near Junmyeon.

The younger has brought up the topic of college, because Luhan obviously has to go, soon, and Junmyeon is a year behind him at school. Luhan agreed that would indeed be a problem, except he appealed to Yifan’s father and robbed the Chinese-Canadian-Whatever of his private tutor, which means Luhan is now registered to take online classes and any credits he needs outside of said classes will be taught by the tutor.

Junmyeon asked if that was legal. Luhan told him not to question it.

And Junmyeon is not fixed. He still has scars and nightmares. He still sometimes hears a little voice in the back of his head that tells him that he’s messing up. He’s still nervous when people pay for things for him and when anyone that isn’t a regular part of his group gets too close.

The difference is, Junmyeon doesn’t have to take care of it alone this time. He’s got friends, more like family, that are always there for him. And, if there is a chance that Junmyeon’s father will come back, although Junmyeon doubts very much that he will, he has Baekhyun on speed dial, who in turn shares a house with a police chief father and a lawyer for a mother, and Junmyeon thinks maybe things will actually be okay.


	12. Extra

“Yifan, listen to me when I speak to you.”

Yifan jolts, making eye contact with his father for the first time since entering the office. They were supposed to be talking about Yifan’s future with the company.

All Yifan can think about is Junmyeon.

Mr. Wu clears his throat and shifts in his seat. Yifan feels his face twist into a grimace. Usually by this point his father would be well into a scolding about the importance of Yifan’s role to the future of his family. But Mr. Wu has been acting strangely for some time now. Ever since he picked Yifan up at Baekhyun’s.

Yifan squirms around awkwardly, trying to figure it all out. His father had been the same as usual when he called him out of Baekhyun’s, but he had been… weird, on the way home. Quiet, and not so overbearing.

The only thing Yifan remembers happening in between is Junmyeon, standing small next to Yifan’s giant of a father, speaking in low tones Yifan couldn’t hear. He’d smiled, when Yifan asked what was going on, and Yifan’s curiosity had been immediately disarmed. He never thought he’s have a reason to doubt a Junmyeon that appeared too happy.

Yifan thinks of Junmyeon, beaten black and blue by his own father, standing bravely next to Yifan’s and scolding his about how he treats his son. The irony of it should be comical. Instead, Yifan feels his blood boil. He is nearly overwhelmed with how angry he is, at Junmyeon for not telling him and Junmyeon’s father for being a monster and at himself for not seeing it.

“Can you just, like, be my dad for like ten minutes?”

Mr. Wu freezes in bringing his tea to his mouth, eyes widening a little before he gets himself back under control. “Pardon?”

Yifan needs to vent, and his dad talks at him all the time and it’s about time Yifan returned the favor. “Junmyeon almost died.”

Yifan takes a deep breath. Tries not to cry. “Junmyeon almost died, a few weeks ago. He hit his head and nearly bled out all over the bathroom floor. And before that, almost every night his dad would beat him, and he’d come to school all covered up with a smile and we never suspected a thing. But now that I know, all I can think about is how many times we almost lost him. Most of the time he wasn’t too seriously injured, but it would have been so easy for his father to hit him the wrong way, or kick him too hard. And Junmyeon…” Yifan stops. Breathes. Tries again. “Junmyeon had to learn, is the worst part. He had to learn when to speak and when to stay quiet, and when was a good time to do all his chores and when his father would get angry just looking at him. He had to learn to give and take, sort of, but all he gave was fear fueled submission and all he got for it was pain. It was a lose-lose situation for him, but he was too afraid to look for a way out.”

Yifan looks at his father again, and he has something like a revelation. “I don’t want to be afraid to look for a way out, dad. I don’t want to be like Junmyeon, throwing away my own health and happiness just to stay in your favor. I’m sorry.”

Mr. Wu has leaned forward on his elbows; has one fist pressed to his mouth and the other held up to tell Yifan to hold on. “Junmyeon… which one is that?”

And Yifan wants to cry, because right now all he has are his friends and his father doesn’t even know their names.

“Is Junmyeon the one that I talked to outside the Byun’s house?”

Yifan’s eyes widen, _holy crap he remembers?_ , and nods. Mr. Wu released a breath that almost sounds like a laugh, but they both know he’s not laughing because it’s funny. “He was so little. Didn’t even reach my shoulder. I remember looking at that kid, who looked me in the eye and told me to straighten up, and I thought, ‘I wonder what kind of person this kid is going to grow up to be?’ I never even would have thought, with the way he stood up for you, that he may not get to grow up at all.”

They both drift into silence, trying to take each other in. Things like this, conversation charged with a n emotion other than frustration and disappointment, are uncharted territory for them. Yifan watches his father’s face flip through more emotions in five minutes than he’s seen in his whole life, and Mr. Wu sits and completely relives his conversation with the short little teenager with the strong gaze, and now he sees everything else. He sees the tension in Junmyeon’s shoulders, and the way his hands tighten on the grocery bags to keep them from shaking, and suddenly Mr. Wu feels like such a fool.

_“I’m honestly a little afraid of him. And you’re exactly the same.”_

He laughs, not amused but completely dumbstruck, and rubs his face so hard he knows it’s going to be red. “He flat out told me he was afraid of his father and I didn’t think a single thing of it.”

Yifan keeps his gaze on him, and for the first time, Mr. Wu really looks at Yifan. Sees his shoulders straining not to hunch, his neck muscles tense as he fights not to bow his head, and Mr. Wu wonders how he didn’t notice when he turned his son into a slave. He sighs.

“Will he be okay?” He asks, and Yifan finally looks confident when he nods, a determination in his gaze that reassures him. Yifan trusts his friends, and Mr. Wu trusts Yifan, and he knows that child that saved his relationship with his son will be okay.

He sighs. He’s going to have to learn to like basketball. 


End file.
